Food will no longer be available after September 30, 2017. Lottery to be instituted to determine which members of the population will be eaten first.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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Due to the continuing combined crises of mounting changes in the climate, ineffective world leadership, and the continuing plague of the Kardashians, the world will effectively run out of food on Saturday, September 30, 2017.

The world governments have been working feverishly to keep this fact from the public, but the website ireaditontheinternetsoitmustbetrue.com recently got its hands on a top-secret, clandestine report that details how world leaders have been quietly stockpiling foods such as Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Twinkies, and other delicacies in order to stave off the impending and expected mayhem.

Because of the leaking of this information, the world governments have come together to institute a lottery system to determine which members of the population will be sacrificed first to become meat for the others. Certain classes of the population - convicted felons, low-ranking politicians, Kardashians, etc, will be automatically selected as the first "tributes" to the abattoirs being established world-wide for this purpose. After that, lottery numbers will begin being selected on Monday, October 1.

Those whose numbers are selected are expected to report quietly to the nearest abattoir for quick and painless conversion into foodstuff for the rest of us.

More to come as this story develops... assuming that this reporter's number isn't selected early on in the lottery process.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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