LOCAL DERBY MAN IMPRESSES FRIEND WITH NEW MOTOR

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LOCAL DERBY MAN , ANT WALLIS IMPRESSED HIS FRIENDS AT THE WEEKEND WITH HIS NEW PRIZED PURCHASE.

MR WALLIS OF NO FIXED ABODE , COULD NOT WAIT TO SHOW CLOSE FRIENDS PATRICK ANNABLE AND JOHN O,LEARY HIS LATEST ACQUISITION , A NEW CAR HE RECENTLY BOUGHT FROM A WELL KNOWN AUCTION SITE .

" I,VE BEEN AFTER A RELIANT ROBIN FOR YEARS " HE TOLD " DERBY NEWS " REPORTER BOB WALTZER .

" SEEN IT ON THE WEB AND POUNCED LIKE A TIGER I DID, TOOK NO PRISONERS WITH THAT BABY I TELL YA NOW !!"

" BEING AN AVID BIKE RIDER , MOTORBIKES I MEAN ! I SAW THIS AS A STEP UP FROM 2 WHEELS AND AM OVER THE MOON, IT,S WHAT I,VE ALWAYS WANTED , THE RIGHT COLOUR AS WELL , BRIGHT PINK "

CLOSE FRIEIND AND PRANKSTER PATRICK ANNABLE COULD NOT CONTAIN HIS EMOTIONS WHEN MR WALLIS SHOWN HIM THE PICTURE AND IMMEDIATELY WENT INTO A STATE OF SHEER HYSTERIA AND SUBSEQUENTLY COULD NOT CONTAIN HIMSELF AND HAD TO LEAVE THE PUB TO CALM DOWN.

MEANWHILE FELLOW FRIEND AND CLOSE ASSOCIATE JOHN O ,LEARY COLLAPSED ON THE FLOOR AND HAD TO BE REVIVED AFTER A FIT OF LAUGHTER NEVER SEEN BEFORE.

DESPITE MR WALLIS,S LACK OF ENTHUSIASM FROM HIS PALS , HE CONTINUED TO EXPLAIN IN GREAT DETAIL THE FINER POINTS OF HIS PURCHASE.

WELL , I PAID £4500 FOR IT TO BE HONEST AND SEE IT AS A FUTURE INVESTMENT , THEY,RE JUST CLIMBING UP YEAR ON YEAR AND SEE THIS AS MY PENSION POT TO BE HONEST, PLUS I LIKE THE LOOK OF IT AND AND DRIVES A DREAM .

SINCE SPEAKING TO MR WALLIS , HE RECENTLY REPORTED BEING TOWED OFF THE A42 AND HAS DECIDED THAT THE VEHICLE WAS NOT QUITE WHAT IT SEEMED, APPARENTLY IT WAS A COBBLED UP INSURANCE WRITE OFF AND NOT WORTH THE PAPER THE LOG BOOK WAS WRITTEN ON.

MEANWHILE PATRICK AND JOHN HAVE MOVED ON AND ARE CURRENTLY VIEWING A SECOND HAND HONDA 50 WHAT CLOSE FRIEND PHIL WREN IS EYEING UP .

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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