Convict and Extraterrestrial Cross Paths Once Again, Sharing Unique Bond
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Everett,WA (A.P.) -- Some 13 years ago a 20 aged backup dancer for New Kids On The Block, E.J. (name usage for privacy), had his dreams set on aspiring to be one of the best in the business. Ironically, he became the best in the business, it just so happened not to be of his childhood dream, as a professional dancer. However, through the long hours and revolving doors of unlimited lists of desired performers, a young E.J. found his calling.
"One day, i was doing burpees on my apartment patio terrace, when something crashed into my patio furniture" said E.J., "it was this thing that looked like and 93 year old dude with no male attributes. His head was weird like a worm got caught coming out of a hole, with these huge eyes... a 'cracked out' Earthworm Jim, actually would be a good way to describe him."
Upon incident the two actually hung out and went bar hopping. It was here that E.J. noticed something unusual about the Extraterrestrial, known as Wrinkles. E.J. took mental notes of Wrinkles as he worked the room and was astounded.
"It was like this dude, Wrinkles, he was the man or something. Girls bought HIM drinks, bartenders gave HIM the money. I was like damn, who the fuck this dude be? I gots to find out."
So that's what E.J. did, he set up Wrinkles to abduct him and probe him and reveal to him all he knew from the outer realms and how he could apply it and take advantage here on earth with his newfound intellect of creating personality and profit mixed together, which today is know as 'swag'.
"You see this dude Wrinkles, his laws was different... I mean like... the abduction that just meant he went and car jacked some dude down the street, a benz i think, and we just rolled around in that.....the probing, well that was just him enlightening me to what was good, not good, and in-between(that is ET jibberish for the shit, not the shit, and fuks-wit-it-if-u-want).... and then he just told me straight up like 'Yo, E.J., I throw a brick in yo face. Now what you gonna do wit it'."
Well it been a couple decades and now the two just crossed paths again. First meeting as patio crashers, then departing as homies, they now find themselves together once again in the most unusual setting and scenery. Sponsoring the all new professional league of "National Driveway Hookah Smokeout's (also known as NDHS). It is the first year and it is comprised of the 15 most populated cities in North America. The two friends who once almost fought over a knocked over water pitcher, a soap dish with the wrong DOC, and a game of bump in a gym of convicts that would rival even today's most notorious Chinese Ping Pong Championships, the duo of dancer and explorer, watcher and shower, human and alien, simply just sit back themselves in their mobile offices smoking hookah and watching Maury.
"Life is good, it's dull, high, and yeah we buy shit from stores and post shit on Facebook" laughed E.J.
The only statements we could get from Wrinkles were simply, "Fuck Yeah Bud!" and "When the funks bout to go down, how many are ready to ride"
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.