Vegans Are Less Intelligent!!!
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A recent study from the Scientific Department of Agriculture at Oxford University found that people who identify as following a vegan diet scored 19 points lower on IQ tests and 7 points lower on ACT and SAT tests on average. The head researcher, Professor Samuel Verden, explained that, "the vital nutrients required to promote brain growth in humans cannot possibly be attained through a vegan diet...". His colleague, and head of the Agricultural Department, Rahj Aburlahmen elaborated that, "the proteins in plants are simply not complex enough to stimulate neural migration (the process of transferring new proteins to necessary areas of the brain for expansion of neural tissues) in children and young adults. In our studies of young children, it was evident that, if these same diets were to be forced upon infants at [early] stages, it could permanently harm brain development (even after a more balanced diet was adopted)". The team is currently working to grow more brain friendly plants that vegans can consume without fear of self harm, but Verden worries that, "We may not have a sustainable supply of these vegetables until the year 2023". In short, the team at Oxford strongly dis-advises vegans from continuing to follow these diets and rather recommends, at the least, becoming a vegetarian to prevent future harm to their mental ability.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.