Local Soccer Star Behind Bars

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

Sunday 28 November 2059 88852 Shares

Local Soccer Star Behind Bars

Former Egg Harbor Township High School girls soccer player, Alexa Rosenburg, has been arrested and will be tried as an adult before a judge. Rosenburg has been convicted of multiple felonies and misdemeanors and was finally found by police in Ballenger Woods of EHT. She was unconscious with a deceased large dog in the grasp of her arms. Offenses include public nudity, harassment of the community, distribution of illegal narcotics, and second degree murder of a minor. As an 18 year old in our legal system, she is facing life behind bars.

Rosenburg is also the ring leader of a local gang who call themselves the “Skate Mates.” The whereabouts of the gang will be in question without Rosenburg out on the streets and they will likely disband. The makeup of the group is to keep the esteem of the ever so sensitive Rosenburg high so that she doesn’t revolt and kill everyone. Another member of the gang, Jordan Whitaker, is wanted by police as well. She was last seen facilitating oral sex to an African American man behind the tennis courts at Tony Canale Park. If anyone is to locate her, please contact authorities immediately. Keep your distance from all Skate Mates, they do attack.

Rosenburg has a lot going for her on the soccer field. Multiple high division 1 schools wanted her to be their goalie, but she sided with the streets.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

loading Biewty