Pope brutallized for "Heretical Teachings" LIVE UPDATES!
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At 5:54 Am Est, Pope Jorge Mario Bergoglio, elected 2013, was discovered in his quarters in a state of near death. Police report that the perpetrator apparently left a note condemning the current pope's "Heretical Teachings". The Full note has not been released, But the Prime Suspect is 55 year old Gregory Fonyx, an Ex-priest belonging to the Clergy until recently for his "Ravings of Biblical plagues." The grisly Wounds were said to be made by a sword that was in the Pope's Chambers,
As of publication, the Suspect is still at large, he is considered Armed and Dangerous.The Pope was likely assaulted and dragged to his Chambers early Sunday, whereupon he was left to die. The pope is currently in Intensive care.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.