Top Ranked 2018 Baseball Recruit Transfers

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To everyone’s astonishment, the best player in the 2018 class out of high school, Nicholas Zitto, has transfered from the prestigious Massachusetts Maritime Academy, coached by the well renowned Coach C. He will now have to restart his recruiting process at local Gateway Community College. Zitto is one of the best, if not the best players to come out of the Cape Atlantic League. His number, 10, has been retired from Egg Harbor Township High School, as he has broken numerous records. He was ranked 1 via Perfect Game and 3 via Prep Baseball Report in the national rankings. A member from our staff had some time to catch up with Zitto’s agent, Jon Storz. “Yeah, when I got the news it was kind of aids,” Storz remarked. “I believe Nick is the greatest catcher in the country, especially because of his offense. A lot of pro scouts are comparing him as a mixture Buster Posey’s bat and Salvador Pérez’s arm, which will definitely get him to the next level. With the help of his friends, family, and Sam Wolfson, the skies the limit for this kid. The kid’s hung like horse if I’ve ever seen one; I would know, I suck it!” If anyone would like to contact Zitto’s agent, please contact the front desk of Island Gym. [@jstorz_fit]

Next, we caught up with Zitto to talk about his decision to transfer and his future at Gateway CC. “I will always be a Buc at heart. During my recruitment, I narrowed it down to LSU, Stanford, and Mass Maritime. The thing that really won me over was the coaching. Those guys really treated me like a grandson.” Zitto became emotional at this point when asked why he had to leave. “I’m gonna be 100 honest. I really fucked up. All I wanted to was drink, party, and fuck my girlfriend (from the back) and it led to me failing out. It’s not too late for me to get back on track though guys. That’s why I’m going to Gateway. I’m a fucking Gecko! I want nothing less than to bring a championship back to Gateway. Hashtag GeckNation!” Nick is a preseason all American in his conference and is slated to bat leadoff and catch for the Geckos. While hitting in the cage the other day, all of his team mates jaws dropped, and one team mate even had a noticeable boner. Sources also say that Zitto had a threesome the first night on campus with two latina hoes, both of which will be needing genital reconstruction surgery due to the damage of his cock.

Finally, we tracked down Coach C from Massachusetts Maritime Academy to chat about the absence of Zitto. “It blows dick,” he stated. “The kid was the next big thing. He’s gonna be making big bills one day, mark my words. If he was Hitler, I was his most loyal Nazi. I’d die
for the kid, don’t you know. On our first home run derby from second base of the season, he knocked 3 balls out of the park without batting an eyelid. He got the immediate suck from his peers after that one. I love the kid to death, I’d let him fuck my wife. Im kind of glad he’s gone though. He’s ugly as fuck.” To sum up Coach C’s words, Zitto was an all around guy besides his looks.

Zitto will be watched closely this season by all 30 major league ball clubs and should be a high draft pick come May.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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