Justin Bieber CANCELS North Wales Visit
Wednesday 29 September 2059 85131 Shares
Justin Bieber Threatens to Cancel Bangor Show
‘I fell in love with Bangor in 2007. We were off to Dubai at first, but my Mom changed her mind when The Sun wrote that North Wales would be hotter than Dubai that weekend’.
The What Do You Mean Singer was furious to hear that his childhood hotspot had been closed down. ‘What do you mean the Sun Centre is closed? It's taking the piss!’
The Confident singer seemed unconfident about performing at Bangor again. ‘Initially, I had broken a world record for selling tickets in a record time at Prestatyn football stadium, when I got there all 36 seats were sold out’
‘I'm fond of Anglesey too, they have an Iceland and a Home Bargains next door to each other. We don't have this luxury in America, I'm considering Bangor as my permanent residency. Rather annoyed that there's no Sainsbury's or John Lewis because that way we could segregate the poor from the rich’.
Local resident Mr Draco seemed rather unhappy, ‘He can piss off! We've got too much celebrities clogging up the town. Ex Geordie Shore stars and now Justin Bieber! Who next? Phil Mitchell? Steps? Takes the piss’.
The Sorry singer was rather (un)sorry after punching Mr Dondalason of Holyhead in the face. ‘I asked if he was going to Bangor and he just twatted me in the head in The Castle’. Bieber responded with, ‘He asked if I was going “bang" her. This was totally bang out of order. You wouldn't get this type of behaviour in places like Bangor or Flint’.
The Mayor of Bangor responded to Bieber’s threats. ‘We are devastated that he has pulled out of the show at the Pontio, we've not had a bigger star than him since JLS performed here’.
Bieber is eager to please fans, but has been warned to steer clear of Lower Bangor. ‘My manager told me to check IDs before kissing any girls and avoid girls who reside in Lower Bangor’. The manager responded, ‘Girls from Lower Bangor have a 75 chance of having chlamydia, we wouldn't want his entire tour to be cancelled’.
International pop star Pharrell Williams responded to the news of the closure of the Sun Centre, ‘Tell you what I'm far from happy’. The (un)Happy singer states ‘We used to get the train from Manchester to Bangor, I used to always get away with a child fare and then we'd go to the Sun Centre on the way back’.
Justin Bieber wants to avoid Bangor High Street because of the ‘bastard seagulls’.
Justin Bieber finally commented, 'I'm not doing the show, not doing the show. The football ground obviously doesn't want me there because they got a friendly against Stoke that day and Pontio doesn't want me'.