"Call Me Maria"; Meet the Woman Formerly Known as Mario

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Meet her.

On Monday, the woman formerly known as Mario -- one half of the Super Mario Brothers -- made her debut on the new cover of Vanity Fair.

Maria, age unknown, wears her hair in a pony tail and poses in a red princess gown in her first portrait since transitioning from male to female.

“If I was a-lying on-a my deathbed and I had a-kept this a-secret and never ever did anything about it, I would be a-lying there saying, ‘You a-just blew your entire a-life,’ ” she tells Vanity Fair.

Mario – who says she has not undergone Flower Power re-assignment surgery – also reveals she had a panic attack after undergoing a facial feminization surgery for 10 hours March 15, thinking, “What did I a-just do? What did I a-just do to a-myself?”

In a video for the magazine, Mario discusses why she’s sharing her story.

“I a-probably signed on for-a the Super Mario Run because I was a-running away from a lot of a-things. [I’m] a-very, very proud of the accomplishment,” she says. “I don’t-a want to a-diminish that accomplishment. The last-a few days of doing this-a shoot was about-a my life and who I am as a person.

“It’s not about-a the fanfare, it’s not about-a the people a-cheering in the stadium, it’s not about-a going a-down the street and everybody a-giving you a ‘That a boy, Mario’ pat on-a the back, okay? This is about-a your life. Mario always had to a-tell a lie. He was always a-living that lie. Every day he always had a secret, from a-morning til a-night. Maria doesn’t have any a-secrets. As a-soon as the Vanity Fair cover comes out, I’m a-free. I'm a-free to be a-me, Maria.”

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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