Kimberly Hirst of Arizona Fights Actual Bear
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New Jersey native and Arizona resident Kimberly Hirst started her morning like any other day: morning coffee, walked the dogs, broadcast to the "fam", and hit the gym. It may have been her choice to live healthy that nearly cost her life. While trying to reset the treadmill ("recumbent bikes don't do shit", says Hirst), Kimberly was surprised by a wild bear entering the community fitness room. Startled, Kimberly froze in shock. "I was like, you've GOT to be fucking kidding me." Instinctively, Hirst leapt to action. In this fight or flight moment, Hirst decided punching a bear was her only choice. Of course, the bear was only agitated by this choice of melee, because it's a FUCKING BEAR. Standing up on it's hind legs, preparing to attack--the bear's head struck a support beam in the gymnasium. Surprised, the bear stumbled backward tripping on the recumbent bike. The large animal toppled over the fitness equipment, hitting it's head once again, this time knocking the animal unconscious. Kimberly was able to make a break for it. She had this to say about the event, "Fucking recumbent bikes aren't so bad after all, I guess." Ms Hirst took the interview via social media application Marco Polo while she loudly slurped down her coffee. Kimberly concluded the interview with a wince, "That coffee went down hard. Ugh. All right. Bye for now."
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.