Jerry Jones Speaks On Ezekiel Elliott possible Suspension! Stunning New Revelations!
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In a stunning major news update Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones made several stunning statements in anticipation of star running back Ezekiel Elliott’s possible suspension.
With a possible playoff berth at stake and needing to close ground on the NFC East leading Philadelphia Eagles, Jones, in a prepared statement, claims he’s prepared to assume the role of ball carrier in the Dallas Cowboys backfield.
When an X-News reporter inquired if he’s prepared to assume such a role Jones predicated his readiness upon once playing running back for his old Arkansas’s North Little Rock High School and co-captain of his 1964 National Championship College Team. “Besides!” He states. “I’ve been taking snaps with the second team since September. Kellen Moore had a lousy hand off so I promoted Rush to backup”
Upon being confronted with the obvious detail that Dallas has a loaded backfield and why would he risk health and injury, Jones became belligerent and replied: “Morris is a former Skins! How far you think we trust him? We’re thinking of trading him for a fourth round defensive pick and a pack of Juicy Fruits! Mcfadden’s barely taken a snap all season! Plus he kneeled in the locker room when he tied his shoe! I figure I’m just as good as they are! - Dammit! I paid GOOD money for this offensive line and they should be able to block for an old widow in a walker! What better way to see if my investment is paying off!”
When it was said that he’d probably be utilizing a walker himself after the game and he was practically consenting the East to the Eagles he replied:
“We shall see!”
“How ‘bout them Cowboys!”
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.