1st Annual Snake River Boating Demolition Derby
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Starting in the Snake and Clearwater River confluence the contestants will try to sink all opponents and be the last boat afloat in the craziest demolition match ever attempted in the LC Valley.
The last boat floating will win a cash prize and an all expenses paid vacation in Mongadishu, Somalia.
Boats must be less than 35 feet long and may be armored and must have a crew of no more than 8 people. Boats may be lightly armored but must be hauling at leat 15 gallons of fuel so that the boat will burn good and destroy as much as possible when it gets sunk.
The people that abandon the sinking, burning boats will be immediately picked up by the MerMan Safety Team from Oregon. With their homemade Merman Tails and dark purple and brown air mattresess, this team will do its best to find swimmers while at the same time being sure to please the crowd with sychronized spawning and fast fish tricks.
The Oakland Air Guitar Team will perform but to hear the "music" onlookers must proved their own bluetooth speakers and purchase an app at the Play Store for android phones and we will allow all iPhone users to download a free app that they can take to Taco Bell and participate in a burito hunt to find codes that they can go online and find clues about the history of the air guitar teams favorite pet grooming schools in Ireland.
People can watch from helicopters or wait for the YouTube release which will be aired in early 2019 but the crashes will be edited out so that it is approprite for miners and it wont traumatize them from digging oiut gold on the moon with bigfoot who rides a giant water snake into the depths of the onion soup sea.
Some or all of this information is not accurate because of it seems autocorrect may have altered most words.
So please dont read this , its not true.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.